Month: January 2018

On January 17 2018, my world was shattered and my heart ripped open.  Stella, our 120 lb, 6 yr Rotti, woke us up when she sat up and yelped.  I leaped out of bed as lights were turned on, half expecting to see her twisted or a paw caught.  She remains sitting on our bed as I gingerly try and fill her paws and legs.  Nothing seems to hurt so it’s probably a pulled a muscle.  I give her a kiss and a rub on the head and tell her to go back to sleep, all will be better tomorrow.   We all woke up on the right side of the grass so I started my morning routine.  Bathroom, feed dog, make coffee, take dog outside.  Only this morning Stella is holding her right front paw up while see eats, hummmm, she must have really pulled a muscle last night.  Our routine stays the same but it is obvious that the pain is not getting better.  We see our vet later that day.  The physical exam shows all paws are fine, the pain is coming from her shoulder.  X-rays are taken and after a 3.5 hr wait and Stella sleeping off the anesthesia, I’m told the vet is ready to talk to me.  “I’m concerned it’s bone cancer”.  My head is spinning, how do we get from a strain or pulled muscle to CANCER????  X-rays were sent off to be read, Stella still in a drug induced state, slept the whole way home, while I cried.  The next day it was confirmed along with the recommendation to manage pain.  That’s it, that’s all????  My chest is heavy, my tummy is tight, I can’t stop crying, I almost hyperventilate a few times, I walk around in circles not knowing what to do.  At some point, I realize that I may not know what to do but I’m not going to just sit by and manage her pain.  I join 4 or 5 support groups for Dogs with Cancer.  I can’t read fast enough, information overload, my eyes are burning from trying to read while crying.  I look for a Holistic Vet in the region, I  have yellow sticky notes all over with the names of supplements, diets, book titles and recipes.  I ask our vet to arrange for us to see an Oncologist.  A week later we are in the office of the Oncologist.  In the mean time the pain has been somewhat managed, the limp slowly getting worse.

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